Pandemic Burnout Part 2: The Stress Reset

In part 1 Caroline discussed the gender stress gap, and how the pandemic has presented us with a situation which is tipping many people towards burnout.  If this is you, then it is time to do a stress reset. This week she discusses a few ways we can all do just that.

By: Caroline Livesey

Last week we talked about stress and burnout… so how do you get off the hamster wheel? 

Understand that this not just about you. Taking these steps will benefit everyone in your life. You will be re-energised, more balanced, inspired and productive. It’s time to care for yourself so you can care better for others. 

3 easy steps to reduce stress: 

1.     Sleep. Your mental and physical health starts with sleep. 8 hours minimum dedicated time set up so you can have the best sleep possible.  It is not optional. As Lee Evans of Mind Power Solutions teaches: “Sleep makes you live longer, enhances your memory, makes you more creative, attractive, lowers food cravings, protects you from cancer, dementia, wards off colds, lowers your risk of heart attack and stroke and diabetes” (there are some top tips in this blog, and further ways to optimise sleep in the free PDF from Mind Power Solutions).  If you don’t have this in your life, then it is the first thing to work on. And if you truly believe you are “fine” with 5 hours a night then I recommend reading Why We Sleep. It will change your mind. 

2.     Exercise. The pillars of health are sleep, exercise, nutrition, and mental well-being.  Many of you will already be prioritising exercise, but if it has slipped in recent months, now is the time to reinstate it. Quite apart from the health benefits, exercise can create time alone and much needed headspace. Both increase concentration and productivity, so when you are back at the screen (or “to do” list) you will be far more efficient.

3.     Self-care. Once you have nailed sleep and exercise the next part is to understand and define what self-care means for you.  Done right it alleviates stress and rejuvenates you. But it is not a chocolate bar/glass of wine late at night before a restless night’s sleep.  Nor is it a spa day once a year. Stress levels need habitual management, every day.  

Looking after your well-being starts with stepping away from that “to do” list and investing time in the things that relax you, alone.  These could be meditation, yoga, writing, being creative, going for a walk, gardening, baking, listening to music or just being alone. Whatever gives you peace and joy, that is the thing that has to take priority.  

People sometimes claim that they don’t know what to do with time alone, other than feel guilty for what they are not doing. If this rings true, then even more reason to act.  Start with meditation; most are sceptical and then pleasantly surprised. You will be astounded at the thoughts and ideas, perhaps even surges of motivation, that appear after a few 20 min periods sitting quietly with your own thoughts. Remember those aspirations you had? Your brain will dig them up and remind you that you have your own path to follow. 

8 ways to “find” the time. 

But for many, identifying what to do is not the problem, prioritising time is the problem.  This is especially true of women who are often taught by society that their own needs are unimportant. Putting ourselves down is completely normalised, and in some situations (especially sport) it’s an expected narrative. 

This has translated into an ingrained belief for many that putting themselves first is selfish and unnecessary. As the tasks for others are never ending, some women end up with zero time for self-care or a pile of guilt should they prioritise it. So how do you find the time?

1.     Give yourself permission. You may find even this simple step difficult. If you habitually feel guilty for “me time”, then when you do go for your run you likely spend it thinking about your list of tasks. Or worse, you multi-task while exercising and never really have a break.  But self-care time is not just for you. If you continue on this path, the very people you are trying to care for will suffer.  You will become resentful and disengaged, have more extreme mood swings, feel increasingly helpless and eventually have nothing left to give to those you love. Perhaps you are already there. 

In contrast, carving out this time will also improve the lives of those around you. You will become more energised, positive, and able to empathise and interact in thoughtful and caring way. You will be less prone to mood swings and generally more fun. Now that’s worth giving yourself permission for. 

2.     Set an example. If you have children, think about the kind of example you are setting them.  Would you want them to put their needs so far down their own list of priorities? Would you want them to have no boundaries around their own time? Thinking of it in this way will help you to be more definitive with that time. 

But this is not just about children. We all have a responsibility to the next generation to change cultural expectations. Our brains are not designed for the high stress lifestyle that is being normalised. Stop conforming to the “busy = success” narrative and embrace chilling out. Model healthy behaviour so those who look up to you can embrace their own. 

3.     There’s no such thing as “making time”. You can’t “make time” and you can’t “find” it either. Everyone has the same 24 hours in their day. If something is important to you there is always time. Stop making excuses. Just make it a priority. 

4.     Eliminate distractions: Identify distractions in your daily life and get rid of them. These include reading unimportant information, or scrolling social media. Put your phone down. It is robbing you of time and elevating your stress levels. 

5.     Delegate. We all think we do essential tasks better than anyone else could. But most tasks don’t need to be done perfectly.  Be honest with yourself and delegate things that someone else could do for you. 

6.     Do it. Ignore push back from people who are used to you being available 24/7. At first, they may not understand why you are taking a step back. Take responsibility for communicating your reasons and then stick to your guns. They will get used to it. 

7.     Say no.  You only have so much time and energy each day so don’t spend either on people who are of no importance in your life. If you are someone who is always saying yes, learn to say no. 

8.     Be accountable. At first these changes might be hard. So, tell a close friend or partner your plan. Ask them to check up on you and make you accountable for following through. Habits are hard to form, but harder to break. Once you have your self-care time nailed you will wonder how you ever did without it. 

There is a simple equation here. Spend all your time on other people and things that are not important to you, and before long you have nothing left for anyone. Burnout, pandemic or not, is a real risk in our society. Whatever stage you are at, taking these simple steps will help. And please share with all your friends. Many people are suffering in silence.

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