A 3-Week Tour of Self Discovery

A 3-Week Tour of Self Discovery

By: Gyl Golden

I’m in the Pyrenees, four kilometers from the summit of Col de Tourmalet and my head is hanging low. I’m so tired that I feel as if I am engulfed in a haze. Everything hurts and there is still so far to go. My mood is beyond low and it feels like my legs are barely making a dent in this climb. It feels like time is at a standstill. 

“Gauche, droite, droite, gauche reveil! Left, right, right left, wake-up!” 

I am fading fast on this stretch where to the right of me is a steep slope heading upwards and to my left is a steep slope heading downwards with views of a beautiful green valley below. The narrow road feels like it’s barely carved into the mountainside. As I pedal, I suddenly notice little furry ears to the left of me. 

“What the fuck? Am I hallucinating?” 

The ears come closer and closer, and I make them out as llama’s ears. There is a little group of llamas climbing up the side of the slope approaching the road. 

“I am not hallucinating!”

I pedal onward, still not completely clear on what’s going on, another group approaches from the right but is moving downhill even faster towards me on the road. I scream out as I speed up to get past them before they come out onto the road in front of me. Phew! I made it. I get past them and look ahead to see what I can only describe as a shit storm of activity going on only a few meters in front of me. There are camping cars along the road, and people gathering to cheer us on, but they were now the least of my concerns. Suddenly other life forms were making an appearance right before me. Cows strolling across the road as well as the odd pack of llamas crossing or even just hanging out in our path. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake! Oh God, I just want to finish these four little kilometers – well by now less than four, it’s probably more like three – in peace without running into livestock and damaging my bike.”

In July of 2018 I cycled the Tour de France route one day before the professionals with a group of amateur French women who call themselves “Donnons les Elles au Vélo.” In English it’s a play on words meaning either, ‘give wings to the bike’ or ‘give “her” to the bike.’ We just refer to them as “Les Elles”. I wasn’t accepted to be on their team, but with their permission,  a small group of us decided to do the whole thing with them anyway.

During those 3 incredible weeks, which were an adventure of a lifetime, I celebrated turning 50. It was one of the hardest physical and mental challenges that I had ever completed and its rewards were unfathomable. In the throes of tackling the challenge of cycling a little more than 3,300 kilometers over the course of a 24- day period with a group of women easily 20 years younger than me, I forgot about who I was supposed to be and was more focused on who I wanted to be.

So just what’s my story anyway? I’ve been an expatriate for close to 20 years and am currently based in France. I am a life abroad coach which means I help people live and work abroad. I am also a triathlon coach and multiple Ironman finisher.

Getting started in triathlon training is how I developed a love for cycling. Deep down I’m a runner and, while I’ve done many marathons, I was apprehensive about riding the bike outdoors as a form of training. It just seemed so complicated and dangerous. Aside from actually knowing how to ride a bike, I had to learn everything; clipping in and out with bike shoes, eating and drinking on the bike and even standing on a climb. But once I got started, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I wanted to improve, find the best gear and keep discovering beautiful places to ride. Cycling completely transformed my life and allowed me to see the world differently.

The summer prior to my adventure, I was watching the Tour de France and every day they would show a very short segment of “Les Elles” cycling the entire route one day before the pros with brief highlights. Watching these women, I thought to myself, “if they can do it, I can do it… probably.” I entertained the idea often and shifted from thinking how cool the experience would be to thinking of how uncomfortable and brutal it would be. 

In the fall of that year there was a call for applicants, I seemed to fit their requirements so I applied nervously. My application was rejected, but I didn’t let that deter me. It fuelled my fire to find a way to make this journey happen. I wanted to know just what this 50 year old body was capable of. Could I really do this?

Thanks to Facebook, I was able to connect with other women who, like me, hadn’t been accepted to Les Elles. We contacted the team and, with their permission, planned to cycle the entire route with them using our own support and funding. We ended up being a team of 4 and cycled with the group the entire time. 

On the last day of the three we journey we rode into Paris for one lap on the Champs-Elysees. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and the world-famous boulevard was bustling with cars and tourists. We did not have the luxury of the road blocks, fanfare, and police support that is granted to the male Tour de France riders as we headed towards the chaos of the iconic final stretch.  That small stretch of road was one of the most traumatic yet exhilarating experiences of my life. At certain points I was convinced I’d be struck by a car, but in the energy of that moment I felt so fully alive! Every part of my being was vibrating. My brain was flooded with emotions, but what I felt most was an overwhelming sense of gratitude. 

For the past 10 years I have struggled with depression. One of my tools in the battle against this illness is endurance sport. I know that exercise will never make my depression go away completely, but during these three weeks I realized that living in the moment, even the ones where my body was screaming from exhaustion, kept me happy. 

As much joy as it brought me on this journey, I know that living in the moment isn’t easy. When I took on this challenge, I realized it had no apparent relevance to advancing me further along in other areas of my life; I wasn’t going to earn money and finishing wouldn’t solve any of the problems I had. Or so I thought. I couldn’t really explain why I was doing this, I just had to do it.  What I’ve learned from this experience is that adventure helps you reach your goals, even if the adventure has absolutely nothing to do with what you hope to accomplish in the future. A true adventure forces you to live in the moment. It gives you more clarity and vision on your current state than overthinking, analyzing and obsessing ever could.

My message to you is that endurance sport and adventure can transform your life. By pushing yourself past your limits you position yourself to overcome fear, leave your comfort zone and gain confidence. 

*Starting October 1st, 2020 Gyl will be hosting a 14-day cycling challenge to help women improve their cycling skills and boost their motivation to get back on their bikes!*

Follow Gyl on Instagram @ironwomanfortheocean  and visit her at:
www.goldentriathloncoaching.com
www.facebook.com/goldentriathloncoaching
www.facebook.com/ironwomanfortheocean